Having returned from two weeks of free time engaged in exploring the sights and history of St. Petersburg, Russia and deliberately keeping out of the drama going on in the usual sphere of my life, I noticed a remarkable stability as I wrote daily in my Happiness Journal. This reminded me of a theme in the writings of the Dalai Lama who talks about the stresses of cyclic existence, i.e., the daily and weekly drama that plays out externally in the world and internally in the way in which we engage with events. The stability, I reckon, is a measure of my 'natural' level of happiness. Research has indicated that this is one way to measure happiness. Since I had read about this idea of happiness, I can say that I 'knew' about it. I hadn't, however, experienced it since most of my days and weeks have various amplitudes of stress and some peaks of pleasantness. I now have a sense of my 'normal' happiness state which will be useful for me to notice as a reference point for the future fluctuations that will inevitably occur. I will be especially aware of the peaks of pleasantness and collect them and store them as a treasure chest of memories to trot out as a regular reinforcement to counteract the constant barrage of fear inducing chatter in my world. [Russell]
Being in motion
One of the lessons I remember from high school physics is that it takes less energy to pull an object than to push it. The force which resists is friction. This is also true for human psychology and friction might be a good word for it although the friction occurs in the head. If we dread or avoid a task or an event, more energy is expended than if we look forward to it. The amount of energy to perform the task is the same. The amount of energy used up usually expands when we avoid due to the longer time it takes to get started. Looking forward could be considered to be energy in motion which relates to another law of physics that once an object is in motion, energy consumption is less than stopping and starting. Being in motion is a natural human condition and it results in a sense of well being whether it is physical or psychological. [Russell]
Everything
If we are happy with what we have, everything in life is handled. [Russell]
Improving Test Scores [Life Scores]
I came across a TV show on PBS called ScienceNow. In this show a researcher showed that students who write their thoughts on paper for 10 minutes prior to a test scored significantly better, a B+ over B- by the control group. The researcher found that this quieted the emotional part of the brain which no longer interfered with the cognitive area brain that is responsible for recalling the information stored for the test. Could our 'Life Scores' be better if we journaled each morning before starting our day? [Stefan]
A simple journal is OK
After completing My Happy Heart Journal for 21 days, I have found it on the most basic level a simple way to remember all the happy events from all the days. That alone is worth the journaling. In the car this morning I was inspired to tell my son (he is six) about the happy moments we shared yesterday. He of course lit up and gave me his happy version. The added benefit of sharing is that we both remembered two other happy moments we forgot about. Day 22 starts tomorrow and I have second journal ready to go. [Stefan]
Happiness Wisdom - Part ll
Life is a journey not a destination is an oft repeated saying. The message underlying the phrase is that the journey is to be savoured since the final destination of life is, well, final. In other words, life as we know it is over.
The really interesting question is why we need to be reminded to enjoy life every minute of every day.
Most of the answer lies in the fact that we are not paying attention to how good life is most of the time. The few negative experiences outweigh the positive ones (this is a proven research result by the way) and we take the good stuff for granted so that it doesn't even register in any remarkable way.
When something bad happens to others, we are reminded as to how fortunate we are in comparison and we pledge to be more grateful, and then forget until...
Practice gratefulness daily in your Happy Journal. You will never again forget. The benefits are extraordinary! [Russell]
Happiness Wisdom - Part l
Affirmations are recommended as a way to put yourself in a desired state or circumstance. A somewhat derogatory affirmation is often used, namely, 'fake it till you make it' to achieve a result. My sense is that the 'fake it till you make it' has more legs than affirmations on their own. At least there is some indication of effort.
One of the tenets of achieving happiness is to 'decide' to be happy. If it was that simple, the world would not have much unhappiness. Young children don't decide to be happy, they are naturally so. What will it take to recover that natural state so that the affirmation 'I am happy' feels authentic? [Russell]
Getting Started - Part ll
Humans respond to incentives or payoffs. Instant gratification is a biggie. Research shows that the delay of instant gratification is important to success. Don't be distracted, however about the importance and utility of instant gratification if employed strategically. Regular exercise is a great example. Why does one exercise? To have an ideal physique as portrayed by marketing? To live longer? To feel good? What is the payoff for an ideal physique? Attracting a mate? Stroking the ego? How compelling is living a few years longer when it is in the far distance and can be easily sabotaged by disease?
Do you feel good after exercise? The universal response is affirmative. This is instant gratification at its best! If feeling good is the goal of exercise and you note the benefits of feeling good, rather than taking them for granted, exercise can become something that is a no-brainer. Use the Happiness Journal to remind you to exercise and write about how you feel after exercising and the difference that this energy makes to your day. You will look forward to getting started. [Russell]
Getting Started - Part l
We all have had the experience of procrastinating on a routine project such as exercise or a new project such as repairing a flat bicycle tire. Once it is done, you wonder why you resisted since it turned out to be easy and didn't take much time. The brain automatically runs programs such as: it's too hard; I don't have the time; it can wait; it's not that important; and so on.
A strategy that can help: 1. Post a reminder where you will see it daily: PROCRASTINATION STOPS BY GETTING STARTED. 2. Notice that you are procrastinating, by saying it to yourself or writing it in your Happiness Journal.
Just by noticing procrastination and reminding yourself of past successful experiences can get you moving. The result is always delicious when you accomplish something that you thought was hard to do. [Russell]
Sleeping poorly?
It is regularly reported that people are sleep deprived in our fast paced world. While there is much evidence of sleep apnea as a contributing factor there are many ways to explore this phenomenon. Having the facts is a good way to start. I have believed for some time that I have a sleeping problem, waking up several times in the night and having difficulty getting back to sleep with an overall perception that I hardly sleep a wink most nights. The effect is that I carry this 'negative' energy with me constantly. Another example of not measuring up, if you will, since it is known on the best medical authority that 8 hours of good sleep is required for optimal functioning.
I have been experimenting for several days now with an app called Sleep Time which purports to measure the amount of awake time, light sleep and REM (deep) sleep during the night. The information that it provides, for me, does match up with my recollection of the night's experience and it is a much more sleep favourable result than my previous perception.
From a happiness perspective, I am much more content with my sleeping and no longer use up precious energy fretting about lack of sleep. The extra energy is available for more useful endeavours and I will keep experimenting with ways to enhance my sleeping experience. [Russell]
A happy body
People sometimes think that they are happier than their behaviour demonstrates and sometimes they think they are not as happy as others perceive them. The explanation for this incongruity is that happiness is not a thinking event. Happiness is a 'being' event felt in the body first and then noticed by the brain. [Russell]
Getting it out!
When individuals start their My Happy Heart Journal the common concerns are all the negative thoughts and complaints that pour out. This can be distressing since the journal encourages writing about positive experiences. This outpouring is a vital key. Let me explain. By putting these negative thoughts on paper you now have the choice of whether you will let those thoughts back in. People are naturally efficient and even if those thoughts re emerge on the next day journal pages there are less negative thoughts.
For me, after writing negative thoughts for a few days I grew tired of it and quickly transitioned to writing about what is important to me. Write the bad stuff 'out' so you can move on to the happy stuff. [Stefan]
Rereading my morning pages
The simple act of rereading the previous days morning pages is such an easy way to release happy drugs, especially when I feeling overwhelmed or down. It is kind of like a coach reminding you of all the effort and progress you have accomplished. In todays world of over information we too quickly lose a great sense of the good we do. [Stefan]
Easier to write happy wins from yesterday
I have found in my morning journal that writing about the previous days wins is easier than trying to write about possible wins for the day. I also find it amazing that I forget so many of the wins I have achieved. By writing them out I can experience, for a second time, the release of more happy drugs. [Stefan]
Thinking vs Writing
Every morning for me I struggle with aches and tiredness. Until I started writing My Happy Journal that internal conversation was on a loop. Replaying over and over again. I am continually surprised every morning that just writing the simple line of how I'm feeling, it turns off this loop. It is like the book listened to my words and reflected sentiments to free me up to write about things that are important to me. [Stefan]